


Closer to the Heart

by Abakawanhinkapi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, fantasy dub-con, mild dub con, science-fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22984813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abakawanhinkapi/pseuds/Abakawanhinkapi
Summary: Death was absolution.After all the crimes he’d committed, the monstrous acts of violence and murder, fratricide was really a minor infraction all things considered.  “Finally, doing the right thing after a lifetime truly kriffing up, that ought to be worth something,” he thought.He’d expected…well, he wasn’t sure.  Shouldn’t there be someone to punish him?“Did you want punishment? Haven’t you done that to yourself long enough?”
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Tea in the Sahara

This…one with the Force thing…it wasn’t what he’d envisioned. He’d didn’t know what he’d thought because he’d never given himself the time to contemplate his mortality. He’d been too busy trying to stay alive and keep his reign intact. His brief time as Ben Solo again hadn’t ended well. However, if he had to do it all again, he’d have still given his meager life to save Rey. He could not envision a universe without her in it, so bright was her light. He physically shook himself out of that line of thought and glanced up.

He was sitting in a swing inside a structure covered in climbing vines. They were covered in a riot of flowers. He smelled the sweetness of the honeydew, with its delicate white blossoms and the deeper woody scent of the strangler rose, with its large, showy, fuschia blooms. As his awareness expanded, he noticed that the gazebo sat on a small, artificial island. Water cascaded from underneath somewhere into a small pool, and created waterways dotted with footbridges. The paths beside them were gray gravel and white rock. Each was lined with beds of brilliant flowers from hundreds of worlds. Fish, possibly ornamental koi, glided beneath the pale azure waters and dove under floating lily pads. The serenity of the place was almost too much. He’d expected…well, he wasn’t sure. Shouldn’t there be someone to punish him?

“Did you want punishment? Haven’t you done that to yourself long enough?” The elderly man sitting across from him had bright blue eyes and a short white beard covering his chin. He deftly reached across the table that had appeared in front of Ben’s porch swing and poured tea from the set that also materialized at the same time. He settled himself onto the settee and blew steam from his cup while regarding Ben with hooded eyes.

“I… I don’t know. This isn’t” Ben gestured to the garden around him, “what I thought it would be.”

“This is the Force,” the elderly man said. “It presents itself in ways you haven’t thought of yet. So, don’t burden yourself with the weight of expectation.”

Ben shook his head. “You were a Jedi, weren’t you? I feel like I should know you? Do I?”

The old man laughed. “I suppose in a way you do. Your mother named you after me.”

Ben’s eyes widened. “You’re Ben Kenobi?” Ben suddenly twisted in his seat to look around at the serenity of the garden and the intricate scroll work beneath the climbing vines.

“Uh, where’s my uncle?”

Kenobi calmly poured a cup of fragrant tea into a cup that appeared in front of Ben. The steam brought the delicate scent up to Ben’s nose and he sniffed appreciatively. 

“Your uncle will visit with you in time. We thought it would be less,” Kenobi paused and with a shrug said, “Controversial.. for you to meet with me. He’s currently guiding Rey on Tatooine.”

A large amphibian hopped past Ben’s foot and croaked loudly before splashing into the pond beneath the gazebo. The water rushed through the exotic plants and burbled along the rocks in the stream. Ben cocked his head and listened to the faint hum of insects pollinating the riot of blooms above his head. He glanced behind him, but it seemed that the water sprang from the mist that surrounded the edge of his vision. Finally, he faced Kenobi again.

“What is she doing on Tatooine?” Ben picked up his tea but set it immediately back down and shook his hand out. He tried to sound nonchalant but Kenobi smiled knowingly.

“Ah, forgot to warn you. It is quite hot.” Kenobi blew on his teacup as the steam drifted up toward the flower canopy.

Ben shot the old man a wry expression before carefully picking up the teacup around the rim. He blew on the liquid and took a cautious sip.

“Ah, here we are at the heart of the matter. What you do now, is up to you.” Kenobi sat back in his seat and regarded Ben.

Ben cocked his head. “What exactly do you mean?” He bit back the sarcastic remark that was waiting on the tip of his tongue. 

“Impatient and impulsive still he is.” A third being that looked like a cross between a frog and goblin materialized on the swing next to Kenobi. “See into your thoughts I can. You were and still are, Kylo Ren.” The being shook its tiny head and reached for the tea.

“Now, Master Yoda, I am not sure you are being fair to our boy. Surely, you think he has shown progress? After all, he made it here” Kenobi gently chided.

Ben blinked hard several times. “Master Yoda?” He finally said softly.

Yoda shot him a disparaging glance. “Ben Solo he was again for a short time. A very short time.” 

“I really can’t help that I died. I am assuming I died, or I would not be here, correct?” Ben straightened his shoulders and regarded the small Master Jedi. 

“Yoda…” Kenobi said in a placating tone.

Ben shot Kenobi another glance. “No, it is all right. I would expect that I would not be able to enter the Force’s version of the afterlife without some resistance. I have spent my whole _kriffing_ life being told I was not good enough, so what is one more place of rejection.” He said softly. “I’m dead, and I still can’t get it right.” Ben sighed.

Yoda regarded him unblinkingly. Then, the little Master hopped off his chair and nimbly swung up beside Ben. He patted Ben’s knee and said, “Your life, a tragedy it was. But now you have a choice.” He smiled at Ben causing the taller man to frown at him and lean away slightly.

“Oh! Don’t mind him. He enjoys this sort of thing.” Kenobi muttered. His eyes twinkled at Ben.

“Uh, a choice?”

Yoda nodded at Ben, but Kenobi was the one to speak. “You can remain here, study, become a force ghost if you wish. You might find your grandfather Anakin wandering around here somewhere. You could choose to go on and become part of the light and the rest of the living Force. Or,” Kenobi pause and sipped his tea. “You could do what you offered to do. Teach Rey through the bond you have.”

Ben looked stunned. He sat for a full minute with his head lowered studying the tips of his fingers.

“Is my mother here?” He looked up at Kenobi.

“Leia has chosen to go to the living Force,” Yoda said quietly.

Ben nodded slowly. “This bond I have with Rey. It did not break when I died?” 

Kenobi stroked his beard and set his cup down. Yoda scrambled off the swing and conjured a chair that resembled a lily pad. He hopped on it and busied himself with the tea set. 

“I have never seen a bond develop like that,” Kenobi said.

“Not like normal force bond,” Yoda spoke up. “Dyad. The power over death itself. Intense it is. Dangerous. But, beautiful too.” He looked up sharply and glared at Ben.

“Must use power wisely."

“Ah, well. My track record isn’t so great there.” Ben said ruefully. He set his teacup down, the liquid in it forgotten.

“No, but Rey does. Good for you, she is.” Yoda pronounced.

“And she still needs you, Ben.” Kenobi reached out to refill his cup.

Ben shook his head. “She has her friends. I am sure that she…”

“See, I told you that you could not finesse him. You should tell him the truth, or he will figure out for himself and be angry with us for eternity.” Luke stepped out from behind the pillar closest to the waterfall.

“How long were you lurking back there?” Ben glared at him.

“Long enough to know you were about to give up and ask us to consign you to some Sith oblivion because you’re stubborn like your old man.”

“What do you people do here all day? Play sabacc games and gossip?” Ben snapped.

“Ben.” Kenobi entreated.

“Then, I can tell you right now that I am not staying here with the league of meddlesome old men.” Ben folded his arms across his chest.

“Then let me be the one to stop dancing around the subject. Master Yoda, forgive me.” Anakin Skywalker materialized next to his grandson. Ben started and stared at him.

“You’re younger than I thought.” Ben blurted then looked like he wanted to bite his own tongue off.

Luke laughed and sat down onto the nearest decorative boulder without further comment.

“One of the benefits of the Force. You can appear in any way you want.” Anakin grinned.

Ben appeared to be thinking rapidly. “So, I can appear to Rey.”

Kenobi wrinkled up his nose. “Not exactly.”

Ben huffed in frustration.

“No, you are already a part of her. Your life essence became part of hers when you transferred it to her. Any other time, you might not have died, but the wound you sustained in the battle with the Knights of Ren weakened you. Truthfully, all we know is that you must find a way to communicate with her. Let her know you are still there supporting her and that she is not alone. She needs you now more than ever.” Anakin was somber.

“Why do I have the feeling there is something you are not telling me.” Ben glanced at them. Yoda looked pensively at a flower. Luke was staring out over the water. Kenobi was fiddling with the tea set.

Anakin sighed. “Something is coming. We aren’t sure what. It is not Sith, so Palpatine hasn’t figured out how to pull another deus ex machina. We don’t know what it is, only that it is, and it could be the end of everything.”

Ben stood and paced around the perimeter of the gazebo. “So, you think I can help Rey defend herself.”

“I could not teach her everything. She’s learned a great deal on her own. She needs your particular skill set, Ben. I don’t have the expertise.” Luke spoke up over the sound of the water.

“She doesn’t know me. I don’t think it would be entirely politic to inform her that I used to be Darth Vader, either.” Anakin said with a sad smile.

Ben spun around and stared pointedly at Yoda. 

“Set in Jedi ways am I. The way forward is not in the past.” Yoda said quietly.

“Ben, don’t make the same mistake I did. I loved your grandmother fiercely, but I let myself be overcome by fear. What is obvious to me is that you loved her enough to sacrifice your life for her. You love her still as you stand here, pondering what should be an easy decision. I suspect you already made up your mind, but you needed one of us to say it to you.” Anakin stood and walked to his grandson. He placed his hands on both of Ben’s shoulders. “You have no idea how proud of you I am. I’m sorry we never spoke before this, and that you suffered so much. I will try to rectify that from now on.”

Ben blinked. “You mean…you will?”

“Of course.” Anakin leaned forward conspiratorially. “I suspect you’d rather hear from me as opposed to that stuffy bunch.” He backed off and smirked at Ben.

“Dad!” Luke whined, sounding like a teenager with his feathers ruffled.

Anakin shook his head and openly grinned. Ben gave him a tentative smile in return.

“How do I do this, then?”

Kenobi spoke up. “Find the thread, the one closest to your heart than any other. Follow it to her. And, go quickly, now. She needs you!”

Ben shut his eyes and searched for the pulsing strand that felt like Rey. He found her and fell…


	2. II. It was only a kiss...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> II. It started out with a kiss,  
> How did it end up like this,  
> it was only a kiss…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explict rating covers entire work not individual chapters.

Rey quickly discovered that nights on Tatooine were not silent. They were not like the sighing of the shifting sands of Jakku, or the pinging of metal contracting in the cooling air. Tatooine night began in the gloaming of the second sun touching the horizon, and the ambient lavender glow that lasted for an hour afterward. The wind blew but not like the X’us’R’iia. On Tatooine, the night breeze brought the smell of cooking fires from the nomadic traders up on the southern ridge. It brought the scent of engine grease and coolant fluid from distant Anchorhead. Sweeter scents danced on the air such as the white night blooms of the molo shrubs that only unfurled their delicate blossoms under the evening sky. Sizzling meteors hissed across the heavens, crackling and popping as they grazed the upper atmosphere. A few larger chunks penetrated and the debris cannons in Mos Eisley and Mos Espa arced green laser beams across the desert night, breaking the bigger pieces apart and slowing their deadly trajectories. On Jakku, the behemoths had already crashed to the ground, but on Tatooine, most of the wreckage from years of war were still orbiting the planet. 

Rey stretched out her senses further, reaching across the Dune Sea, following the breath of life and the living Force across the curvature of the world. A few hours distant, a krayt dragon crunched on the bones of a bantha, breaking the large leg bones into splinters and licking and sucking at the salty marrow within. A drop of water from wind driven sietch, a natural water trap, made a faint splash. In her mind, she followed the water droplet down into a deep cavern, where the ripples expanded across a hidden subterranean lake. The natural aquafer bubbling up into a spring under the heart of Mos Espa. Ripples crossing the lake, over the dunes, and out into the heavens. One action can cause so many ripples, Rey thought. She shook herself slightly. While ripples were fascinating, they were not the battle meditation technique she was attempting to master. She opened her eyes briefly, reoriented herself on the dome of the Skywalker homestead and closed them again to run through the forms with her lightsaber. She tried to hear Luke’s voice in the back of her mind, coaching her on her footwork. Instead, something crackled like a too familiar unstable red lightsaber and she opened her eyes. In the distance, another piece of an unfortunate starship broke apart in a brilliant shower of sparks. She thumbed the emitter on the saber and shoved into her belt holster. She pulled the staff from across her back and walked through her fight practice with it instead. She stopped when she could see her breath, and the night air became laden with the chill. One of Tatooine’s moons was low on the horizon when she shuffled down the stairs into the main section of the underground dwelling and pressed the deflector screen activation panels. The solar shield over the open center section of the homestead only closed half-way, so she’d had to supplement power from the Falcon to ensure the lights stayed on and the security shielding worked. 

The beauty of a moisture farm was having fresh water. Nights on Tatooine at this time of year generated enough frost and dew for the vaporators to pull into the holding tanks. To her surprise, the Skywalker farm had both a standard sonic shower, and a wonderfully decadent although small water shower facility. The water shower was attached to the master suite where she’d placed her bedding, bedrolls, and the small amount of personal effects she’d collected in the short time she’d been with the Resistance. She wiped the rapidly drying sweat out of her eyes and depressed the keys that shut and locked the main doors within the complex. The security feeds she’d installed on the complex showed no activity and all alarm systems were green. Satisfied that her security system worked, she quickly threw together a passible meal of tubers, cheeses, nuts, flavored protein wedges, and savory crackers. From the decently sized refrigeration unit, she pulled a bottle of Yavinese beer and some round purple fruits that were ripe to the point of bursting. While she ate, she watched messages scroll across her personal comm center. There was one from Finn and Rose, letting her know they would be arriving within the next day. Poe sent her a jaunty quick slate message about some holo he’d seen on Corellia. She found the holo in question on the HoloNet and read the programming description. Her curiosity piqued, she hit the playback button while she chewed on a protein wedge. At the same time, she started filling the water shower tank and hit the heating element control. 

Water showers had become her nightly indulgence. They also helped soothe her aching muscles and helped her sleep. 

“Are you still having nightmares?” Finn had asked after Rose had waved off the transmission. “If you are, I am bringing you a somnulous plant from…oh I forgot the name of the planet but it is from the Hapes Cluster. They say the blooms can sing you to sleep.” He grinned at her, but his eyes indicated his worry.

She’d smiled, and wished she’d been able to reach them via comm but they were still beyond Tatoo’s heliopause and the Skywalker homestead wasn’t wired for intergalactic transmissions yet.

Rey finished her dinner and dumped the plate into the recycling unit. Mercifully, it still worked, unlike a few of the larger appliances. The majority of the cooking implements had been scavenged, but a few pots and pans were still crammed into the nooks and crannies of the old kitchen. 

The moons had risen by the time she decided to take her shower and go to bed. The shower wasn’t large by galactic standards, but it was wonderful all the same. She stripped off her clothing and let them fall in a heap on the floor. She twisted the knob below the shower head and a rainfall stream of warm water touched her face and hair. The water was hard and full of minerals which gave off a faintly earthy scent. It wasn’t unpleasant but Rey thought about installing a water softening system at some point when there was money for luxuries. In a shop in Mos Eisley, she’d found a woman who made soaps from the local plants. The century plant had spikey, waxy, sharp leaves and grew close to the ground. It produced the soap flower, creamy white blossoms that had a waxy feel to them. Rey used the soap flower leaves she’d picked up from the local woman by rubbing them between her hands to cause the flower to foam. Then she spread it liberally onto her hair and body. Bathing at the Resistance bases had always been a rushed affair. Kylo had developed an uncanny sense of her bathing routine and she dreaded it. The memory of the misadventures with her bondmate made her smile wistfully as the water cascaded over her head.

The first time he’d appeared in the recycled water unit just as she’d closed her eyes to rinse the harsh soap out of her hair. The water came out in a tepid trickle. “If you would let me, I would give you the best shampoo the galaxy could offer. I would see that you’d want for nothing, Rey.” He tapped her nose with a finger, and she let out a squawk and opened her eyes.

“What the kri…what are you doing here…get out!” She snapped. She darted around him and grabbed a towel and quickly wound it around her.

He folded his arms over his chest and regarded her. “You forgot to get your back.” He commented lazily.

“Aren’t you a little overdressed to be appearing in the shower? Don’t you have planets to oppress or something?” Flustered, Rey yanked another towel from the rack and flipped it over her head into a turban.

He leaned against the wall and looked at her. “I have a dinner to attend unfortunately, which is why the formal attire. I am leaving the planetary oppression to Hux this evening. I am sure he’ll be having a grand time.” 

Rey backed away from him and her hip caught the edge of the sink. “Well, now that you’ve had your fun, you can get out! Go away!”

Kylo laughed softly. “I remember you caught me in a similar state of dishabille once before. I thought I would repay the favor.”

Rey picked up a hairbrush and threw it at him. It bounced harmlessly off his chest.

He blinked, looked down, and kicked the offending brush out of the way. “The bond. It is getting stronger. Don’t you _feel_ it Rey?”

She looked away and swallowed hard.

“Yes, you noticed, didn’t you? Think about it…what else could we do? Haven’t you ever wondered where this is going?”

Rey edged her way toward the door. “I think you should be leaving. I don’t want to make you late for that dinner.”

He snorted. “An evening of politicians sucking up to the First Order in hopes we won’t lay waste to their systems. I only hope the food is decent.”

“You’ll have to pardon my utter lack of sympathy for you.” Rey reached the door and pushed it open.

He followed behind her into the chilly corridor. She’d left her clothing and her boots on the rack outside the communal ‘fresher. She turned her back to him and allowed the towel to slide down to her hips as she yanked on her pants. Barefooted, she shoved her feet into her boots. She let the turban on her head fall to the floor and yanked her tunic over her head. Both towels were chucked into the bin next to the rack. “Are you done yet? Seen all you need to see?” Rey turned to him and glared.

He was leaning indolently against the wall with a slight smirk flickering across his lips.

“Don’t forget these.” He levitated her hastily forgotten under clothes into the air.

She squawked again and yanked them out of his force grip. “You…argh!” She snarled in exasperation. She turned and stomped down the hallway.

“Stop following me!” She snapped as he ambled along after her. She reached the door to her quarters and keyed open the lock. Kylo was just behind her and she turned around to slam the door in his face and engage the locks. She breathed out a puff of air she’d hadn’t realized she was holding and moved to the center of the room.

“Really Rey? You have a bad habit of slamming doors in my face. I think it’s a bit annoying.” He rematerialized in front of her holding a box. 

“You are more than just annoying” She growled. He was between her and her staff. _If he was physically manifesting in her quarters surely, she could give a good smack with it_ , she thought.

He shook his head. “You could try. It might actually be better than my little experiment here.” He held up the box and set it down on her small table.

“What are you…?” She frowned.

“Indulge me.” He said. His lips turned faintly upward in a ghost of a smile.

“Why should I?” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“A valid question,” He mused, “But, I only want to test the limits of our bond. If I have guessed correctly, you should be expected at the evening mess hall about now.”

“So?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, all too aware of the chilliness of her room.

He smirked openly now. “As you are fond of saying, no one really knows you. But, I do, Rey. I do.”

“Oh really?” Rey didn’t bother to hide the sarcasm in her tone.

“Open the box.” He gestured toward it with his chin. “Oh and, check with the commissary. They probably have some thicker tunics.” He backed toward the door with a mischievous smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

She unfolded her arms and glanced down. The entire front of her shirt was damp enough to see the outline of her hardened nipples through the material. 

“You…you…you son of a nerfherder!” Rey grabbed the nearest object, which turned out to be a potted plant, and hurled it at him. He vanished and the pot shattered against the durasteel door. She heard a faint chuckle in her mind as his presence withdrew.

“I hope they bore you to death. To death!” She sputtered at the fading connection and then slammed it shut with her mental shields.

~~

Dinner in the mess hall had been dismal. Food supplies were running low, and the cooks were improvising with scraps. Rey quietly shared one of her carefully horded packs of polystarch with Finn, Rose, and Poe. Poe stirred his bowl of thin, watery, gruel around and sighed. “Okay, this ends tomorrow. We’ve got to find a way around the blockade at Tenumbra. We need real food.” He lamented.

“And ‘fresher paper.” Rose chimed in.

“Caf would be nice.” Finn sighed.

“Well, why are we sitting here? We could be planning a supply run!” Poe was halfway out of his seat before Rey pulled him back down.

“You heard Maz, Coronet City is crawling with First Order patrols. We can’t.” Kaydel sat her tray down next to Rose and eyed her bowl with disdain. 

“I know she said to wait, that our suppliers would find away around the blockade from the other side, but…” Poe shook his head.

“We could go hunting!” Finn suggested. 

Poe and Finn started deliberating the merits of blockade running versus hunting the indigenous life forms on their current planet of refuge. The other women tossed out ideas and Rey listened with half an ear. Her stomach was growling. While her hunger was nothing compared to what she’d suffered on Jakku, it was still enough to make her feel hollow.

The debate was still raging when she excused herself. She’d counted her horded rations that morning and knew she only had three more she could possibly spare. Polystarch bread wasn’t much anyway and she felt a twinge of guilt for holding on to six additional packages.

But old habits died, hard.

The beginnings of a headache bloomed as she keyed her way back into her bedroom. She rubbed her temples and flopped down onto the lumpy, third hand couch and kicked off her shoes. She yawned feeling her jaw pop. Her eyes went to the table.

The box was still there.

Barefooted, she padded over to the table to examine it. It was made of dark wood, with a delicate filigree of gold that ran around the edges and down the sides. It was large enough to be a small crate if it did not appear so fragile. A closer inspection led to the discovery of a faint hum resonating from it. She slid her fingers over the sides and discovered a discrete catch on each side. She tried pulling upward to tug the lid off, but that did not work. After a few more minutes of fiddling, she pressed inward on both of the catch points and the lid folded back in on itself. A blue stasis field hovered over a plate of meats, cheeses, bread, and an assortment of fresh fruits. Beside it lay a small carafe of tea, a hot cylinder of something that looked like soup, caf packets, and a small fragile looking bottle of aqua liquid. Perplexed, she looked at the food, not entirely sure what Kylo was attempting to accomplish. Her fingers hit a hidden switch on the side of the box and a holo recording began to play.

It was Kylo, sans helm and out of his usual, uncomfortable looking garb. It was possibly the most casual she’d ever seen the Supreme Leader of the First Order ever look even counting the time she’d caught him without a shirt. He was sitting with his legs crossed in classic meditation pose. She could see a hint of his bare feet tucked in at the thigh. He wore a simple black tunic, and what looked to be loose, soft, black pants with a draw string waist. The spartan First Order insignia was deeply faded and deconstructed in a patch on his thigh.

Unlike most communication holos that were blue on blue, this one was in vivid color, so she had an impression of an all-white background behind him. He scrubbed at his face with one hand and pushed his hair back in a gesture that might have been a nervous motion.

“Rey! Don’t shut this off.” He said as her hand hovered over the switch. “Look, I gave you this for a couple of reasons. First, I know you haven’t been eating well. I know my command has your supply line tied up. Hux has been gloating about it for days. I’m honestly tired of listening to him. But, until I can find something to distract him, your suppliers are out of reach. Smugglers might be an idea, but I’m not going to suggest it to you because you will just think it is a trap. You’d be careful about taking that from me, simply because Hux and I only tolerate one another, and he’s ambitious. If he knew that this box made it to you from me, he’d find a way to use it against me.

I hope you will consider this in the spirit in which it is given. I am not trying to trick you. You are in my head anyway. I think you can determine for yourself my level of honesty. I have no wish to harm you and I don’t want you to starve either. So, knowing you, you are looking at the items in the box and thinking that you can’t eat it without feeling guilty.”

Rey blinked and looked down at the plate held in stasis.

“Don’t feel guilty. This is not a Dark side thing or a Light side thing, this is a stay healthy so you can fight me again someday. He gave her a lopsided smile that was reminiscent of Han.

Rey frowned. _Was that an awkward attempt at humor from Kylo Ren?_

“I know you have a stash of rations. It makes sense to me that you would have because it is wise to be prepared for an emergency. I saw you trapped in the Star Destroyer for three days while the sandstorm raged around you. I saw you injured from a fall. I saw that in your head at Takodana but did not understand what it meant until I got to know you better. I know that you have probably given as much as you can to your friends, but that your personal supply is also running low, and that makes you scared. That brings me to my second point. Beneath the plate, the drinks and desserts…”

 _Desserts?_ Rey peered into the box, recording momentarily forgotten.

“Another stasis container.” Ben continued. “It holds additional rations so that you can supplement your own. They are unmarked so no one will know you got them from the First Order, although I would unpackage them and put them in something else if you eat them in front of FN-2187. He would remember our MRE’s and their contents. Lastly, the box was my grandmother’s. It was her jewelry box although, I doubt she ever used it as such. Before you ask why I have it, it was a gift from an emissary from Naboo, who thought to curry favor with me by locating a family heirloom. I have no need of it, so you may have it. My mother may recognize it, so use your discretion.”

Rey stared at the box and the functional beauty of it. She shook her head.

“I have a minute or so left of this recording, so I can tell you about what I sent you. If you pull the plate out, you will see that there are four types of cheese and a paste that…”

Rey shut her eyes and reached out with the Force. She felt no ill intent, no evidence of wrongness that would signify a poison. Her mouth watered at the scent of the food as she pulled the plate out of the box. 

Kylo continued to talk, describing each dish to her and why he chose it for her. He ended with the eisenberry cupcake that had been tucked down in a separate container next to a linen napkin and silver cutlery. “It pairs well with the sparkling eisenberry champagne. That’s the blue wine in the small bottle. There is a small champagne flute that is with it.” Kylo suddenly looked quietly bashful. “This is a dessert native to my home planet Chandrila. I ate these as a boy, and I thought you might enjoy it.” He ducked his head and then straightened back up. “I hope this helps.”

His image cut out. Rey opened the stasis container and glanced at the hidden recess compartment. She counted a hundred MRE’s condensed and packed into the small space. It was easily enough to feed all the Resistance members for at least 3 weeks. Stunned, she sat back on her heels. She took the plate of food to the floor and put the first piece of cheese in her mouth. It was every bit as exquisite, as he had described, and she began eating with gusto.

~~~

Rey shook her head at the memory. His odd curiosities and intelligent discussions with her eventually wore her down. She stopped trying to throw him out every time the Force bond created a link. Rey rinsed the soap from her hair and started to lather other places. She tilted her head back and let the warm water slough off her skin. 

The bond created a strange sort of intimacy that was beyond the boundaries of their adversaries. Another pleasant memory flitted through her mind. 

She’d awakened one evening to find him sitting on her bedside studying her.

She’d yelped and reached for her staff, but he’d held up his hands in surrender. She remembered that he looked exhausted and his eyes were deeply shadowed. 

“Is there a problem?” She’d stared him down, willing him to look away as she pulled the thin blanket up to her chin. She’d briefly wondered how much of her skin he’d seen and then thought to brazen it out. 

He mumbled something that she couldn’t make out.

“What?”

“I said, you are beau…” He broke off. “Nevermind.”

She shook her head. This had to be a hallucination. She had rubbed her eyes and glared at him sleepily. “It is hard to sleep with someone staring at you.”

“Sorry.” He glanced down at the datapad in his hand and sighed.

Her curiosity got the better of her. “Where are you?”

He looked up, clearly surprised that she had decided to talk to him.

“This is my quarters on the _Steadfast_. You are in my bed.”

“What?” She looked around in puzzlement.

He cocked his head and studied her. “You don’t see the bedframe and my sheets?”

“I..” She’d reached out and touched the wall behind her and it morphed into the sterile white design of First Order starships. She’d blinked in surprise. “Well, that’s new.”

“I’d say so.” He’d muttered. He rubbed his eyes.

“Long day?” She sat up and curled her bare feet beneath the blanket. It was strange. She’d assumed he lived in a dark, monastic cell but this room was pristine. There was a food replicator on one wall, and the bed was inset into another. Beyond that, the details of the room were a filtered white haze. He sat in a chair in front of her and worked from a desk that could easily fold into one of the walls. The level of cold sterility made her shiver.

“Do you need an extra blanket?” He cocked his head and studied her.

Her thin white shirt was fine for sleeping in a tropical environment without her breast bindings. However, the frigid, recycled air on the starship was causing her body to tighten and gooseflesh formed on her arms. She found herself holding on to the edge of his equally white sheets and grimaced.

Without a word, he got up and opened a panel on the wall next to the bed. He pulled out a large cream-colored comforter with the First Order insignia embroidered in a shimmery fabric across the front. He handed it to her silently and she immediately tucked it around herself. The fabric was so soft that she found herself rubbing her fingers against it, and then her cheek. 

He moved over to the food replicator and pressed a sequence into the keypad. A plate of something that smelled tantalizingly good materialized and he brought it back to his desk.

She watched him eat without a word, until he glanced up and saw her staring at the food.

He stood. “Did you enjoy the antipasti plate I had the kitchen prepare for you?”

She nodded slowly.

He went to the food replicator and brought her a similar plate. She stared at it. He huffed and sat the plate down in front of her.

“Eat it or don’t, it doesn’t matter to me. Although I know food is scarce for you, and you’d best take advantage of it while you can.”

She really could not argue with that, so she immediately dug in with her fingers, placing the delectable bits of meat and cheese together and stuffing them in her mouth.

His expression made her stop chewing for a moment.

“What?” She garbled around a chunk of cheese.

“Your table manners are appalling.” 

She shrugged and continued eating. “You said it yourself. I’m a _scavenger_. I’m _nothing_.”

“You missed the part where I said, not to me.”

She didn’t reply. Instead she swallowed her mouthful and looked down at the soft comforter. It must have been made with the feathers of an exotic bird because it was so light. She traced the weave on the upper part of the blanket with a finger. She had no idea how to process what he’d said. She glanced up but he’d gone back to working on his datapad.

“You look tired.” 

He flicked a glance at her. “The First Order requires me to be on top of everything.”

She frowned. “When was the last time you slept?”

He shrugged. “Might have been last alter-day.”

“Ben, you can’t go that long without sleep. You’ll push yourself too far.”

“Careful. That’s starting to sound like you actually care about my well-being.” He pointedly didn’t look at her.

She huffed. “If you are still leading your army into battle, then lack of sleep will cause you to make poor decisions. Don’t make it easy for…”

His laugh was bitter. “Easy for the Resistance. I thought you’d like that.”

“Believe it or not, I don’t want to fight with you every time I see you. I know you have other enemies. Don’t make it easy for them. Don’t make it easy for _Hux_.”

He wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “I have him under control for the moment, but don’t expect it to last long. You’ll find your supply lines should be open within a day or two.”

“What did you do?” She stuck her fingertips in the remains of the sticky toffee substance and guilelessly sucked it off her finger. His eyes followed the motion and seemed to grow darker before he glanced away. 

“Don’t worry. I have him entertained with a puzzle he can’t resist.” 

She sat the plate away from her on the edge of the bed platform. “Ben, I’m sorry. I did not mean to push you out of bed. You know I can’t control this.”

He sighed and raked his hands through his hair. To her eye, he was looking rough around the edges and it wasn’t just the deep shadows that bruised his cheekbones. 

She patted the bed beside her. “Truce for one evening alright? Come sit down.”

To her surprise, he tossed the datapad down on the desk and stood. He gave an almighty stretch that made the tendons in his spine make an audible pop. She glanced down and then rapidly focused on the floor, as the motion also caused his shirt to ride up, showing the hard muscles of his stomach. His sleep pants also rode lower on his hips giving her a brief flash of pubic bone before disappearing beneath the fabric. 

“ _Like what you see?_ ” His telepathic comment made her blush.

His chuckle was soft with a darker edge to it. He sat down on the bed and then scooted backward so his spine touched the back wall of the bunk. She scooted back too, mirroring him. She flipped the blanket over his legs and feet. She twisted the edge of the material with her fingers and traced the logo design. He reached over and grabbed her hand, intertwining her fingers in his own. He shook his head. “What am I supposed to think when a beautiful woman suddenly appears in my bed.” He shot her a boyish half-smile and lowered his head. 

“Wait…what? You think I’m beautiful?” The remark startled her, and she blushed even harder.

He reached across to cup her cheek briefly with his hand and let his fingers trail down her chin before withdrawing. He leaned back and shut his eyes. “ _You know I do_.”

“I…”

“Don’t.” He said aloud. “Just don’t. You said truce. I have my opinions, you have yours and we aren’t going to sit here and fight about it for one evening.”

“Okay.” She glanced down at their joined hands. 

“I’ve been researching Force-bonds. I found a name, but not much else.” He shifted and leaned into her shoulder.

“A name?” Rey moved so that her back supported him and he released her hand to put his arms around her waist. He brushed his lips against her temple, and she smiled as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

“Revan. He was either or a Sith or a Jedi, but the records are incomplete. I won’t know until I go to…well, I’ll have to go.” He yawned.

_“Now?”_

He rubbed his cheek against her hair. _“Not now. Soon. I can’t be away from the First Order that long. No telling what kind of mischief Hux and Pryde will get into if I leave the two of them alone.”_ His mental voice sounded softer, deeper. 

She moved her head slightly and noticed he had his eyes closed. His breaths were becoming slower and regular. She twisted away and he straightened blearily.

He touched her cheek again, and his eyes were infinitely sad. “ _Don’t go_.”

“I can be yanked to the other side of the galaxy in a heartbeat. You know how capricious the Force is.” She tried to sound flippant but failed. He let go of her waist as she scooted forward. 

_“Yeah. I do.”_ He flopped down on his back behind her, one arm falling over his eyes. She pulled her knees up and rocked back and forth.

_“Rey, I don’t want anything from you. I just…just lay here with me for a little while?”_

She cocked her head and regarded him for a long moment. “I can do that.”

She collapsed onto her side and he rolled over to bring his long body around to cradle hers. He rested his nose in her hair and placed an arm around her waist. She entwined their fingers together and she knew the second he fell asleep. His soft snore tickled her ear as she drifted away into slumber.

~~

The morning brought the announcement from Palpatine and everything went to hell from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working on a much longer piece and on a deadline so this fic will update irregularly until my deadlines are met. You can reach me at dr.wintersong12@gmail.com.  
> ** Mr. Brightside by The Killers  
> We all need 'fresher paper, Rose.


	3. Venus as a boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's dreams are the best way for him to communicate...for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explict content, Dub Con, and restraints. Discussion of voyeurism. I guess I should update the tags, hmm? Venus as a boy~ Bjork.

III. Venus as a boy

She settled herself in front of the low table next to the bed and pulled a bantha fur blanket around her shoulders. His clothing, neatly folded and resting in his grandmother’s jewelry box, sat atop the table along with an everlast candle. On Jakku, funeral rites were quick. The dead were buried either by sandstorms or purposefully in designated plots outside the Outpost. Occasionally, when a body was interred, they were dispatched before other scavengers, the varmit kind, could drag the bones of the corpse all over and present a health hazard. She knew the Church of the Force held funerary rites, but she’d never seen them. With the village of Tuanal destroyed, she doubted anyone bothered anymore.

She supposed she should be happy. Ben had a Jedi death. He became one with the Force and faded away right before her eyes leaving nothing but his clothing and pocket lint behind. She picked up the undershirt, the one with a conspicuous hole where his right lung and abdomen began and cradled it in her arms. She tried to be happy for him, his return to the Light had given him the strength to save her. It was this time, every night that she reflected on the magnitude of his sacrifice. It was sometimes hard to wrap her head around. He gave his _life_ to save her. Her, a _scavenger_. A _nothing_. A **Palpatine.**

He willingly did it too, and when he smiled at her, his last thought was that he could not imagine a universe without her in it. She had felt his tremendous, _glowing_ , love for her, and it left her in humbled awe.

She sniffed his shirt, and inhaled the warm, spicy scent of him. It was slowly fading, but just enough of his cologne remained that she could visualize him from scent memory alone. He’d also smelled of salty brine, having been soaked to the skin on Kef Bir. There were blood stains where a blow dealt to his face had soaked into his collar. He had taken another, possibly fatal wound when Palpatine…she could not think of that horrible _thing_ as even being remotely related to her…Palpatine had thrown him into the abyss. Blood had soaked through opposite the hole in the shirt. His cologne mixed with heady metallic smell of blood lingering on the material.

Gently, she placed the shirt back in the box. There had been no one left alive to mourn him except her. She still hadn’t told anyone about what he had done. She had no way to explain that he had renounced everything he knew to be with her, and that he loved her enough to die for her. It made her feel… She didn’t know how to name this emotion. Bereft did not seem to cover it. His death had bewildered her. One minute he was kissing her, and the next he collapsed.

The Resistance was still in active combat so she could do nothing more but to gather up his clothing and the two lightsabers. When she scrambled to her X-wing, his TIE was already in broken, crushed pieces from a chunk of star destroyer. Nothing remained of Ben Solo, except for her memories.

She lit the everlast candle with a spark from her fingers. The gentle scent of the wax floated over her nose and she closed her eyes. She had thought about burying his clothing in the desert, but since he had no real connection to the Lars-Skywalker homestead, she decided to hang on to them. She also realized that was a purely selfish desire, it was the one thing she had left of someone who had loved her deeply and completely. She closed her eyes and began her ritual meditation, focusing on the details of his face, and the dimples of his smile. She flowed out into the Force, and then down into herself, searching for that flicker that she had felt four days after his death.

When she’d first arrived on Tatooine, the force bond had been like a yawning hole in her psyche. Touching it during meditation had been like prodding an open wound with a knife and citric acid. She had willed herself not to cry, but when she found herself without BB-8’s happy chatter, her thoughts turned to her loss and her tears fell freely. Luke and Leia had readily appeared to her, grinning happily when she’d announced that she’d taken their surname for her own. She kept expecting Ben’s Force ghost to appear, but he did not. A thousand generations of Jedi lived in her, but the one she most desperately wanted to see stubbornly refused to appear.

She took a deep breath and chanted, “Be with me.” She could feel the flicker. It was like a tiny blue flame buried deep in her consciousness, holding on despite the small size. The tiny flame warmed her and filled her with hope that somewhere Ben still existed and was making his way back to her. He had promised she would not be alone. She added, “You promised me!” to her mental chant.

The flame wiggled in response but did not grow. As much as she tried to coax it into something larger, it stayed right where it was, buried deep and with the same intensity as it had before. Finally, in exhaustion, she gave up. She set the timer on her everlast candle and placed it near the box. She replaced the wilted flowers with a lovely azure night blooming plant. She had even found an old holo recording of Kylo Ren and placed it on her makeshift offrenda. She didn’t play it. It was just there because it was the only picture outside of her memory that she had of him. She crawled into bed, pulling the soft downy furs over herself and wiped a few stray tears away with the back of her hand. She placed her lightsaber within easy reach behind her pillow. The air outside her warm cocoon was chilly but inside her thin white sleep shirt rode up over her thighs when she rolled over to hug one of the pillows to her chest. The fur was soft and reminded her faintly of Chewie. She watched the everlast candle burn, its flame casting shadows on the painted ceiling. At some point, she finally fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a struggle for him, knowing that she was calling out to him, and being unable to answer until her mind stopped consciously trying to connect with him. It was like watching the holonet. Everything had a disembodied quality to it, which when he thought about it, made perfect sense. He had the ultimate seat into Rey’s life. He could watch her eat, practice, and he enjoyed a visceral thrill at observing her bathing routine. But it was frustrating not to be able to connect. It was not for the lack of trying though. He’d finally discovered he could influence her thinking by leaning on her intuition. He tried to steer her but her will was strong and he quickly discovered that he would have to approach her differently. The quandry led him to discover that he could insert himself into her dreams. She did not appear to remember them, which disappointed him. He remembered vaguely an ancient text he’d read had commented on memory retention being linked to sensory experience and emotion. The Jedi text was geared to teaching methods for young padawans. Luke had made him read it namely to give him something to do and stay out of trouble. However, he’d never envisioned trying to apply the concepts in his current predicament.

He waited, heart aching for her as she dried her tears on the back of her hand and scrunched herself down into the bed. Finally, he felt her relax enough and her eyelids flickered with the beginnings of a dream. Gently, he inserted himself into her mental dreamscape and was startled to find himself drawn into the visions she’d created in her mind.

In her dream, he pulled her to him, curling protectively around her. She sighed and nestled further into his arms.

“Ummm Ben.” She hummed rolling over to face him. Her dream self suddenly opened her eyes and stared at him. “You’re here?”

“Yes, sweetheart. I told you I wouldn’t leave you.” The world around them abruptly shifted. She raised her head and looked around in confusion. “Where are we?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. This is your dream.”

Rather than being a murky landscape, indistinct from a fog, they were lying in a huge bed covered in a sheer, gauzy canopy. Around them were stacks of books topped with flickering candles in ornate candle jars. The ceiling was topped by thick dark crossbeams that held up clear plasticrete panels. The entire room was clear plasticrete, and he could see the twilight forest outside. The fronds of a giant fern were waving in the slight breeze and a light rain tapped on the roof.

“I like your imagination. This is beautiful.” He said and grinned at her.

She stretched languidly like a loth cat after a cleaning of its skin. “I like my imagination too.”

She tilted her head and regarded him before reaching over to run her fingers lightly over his exposed chest. He caught her fingers and brought them to his lips. She giggled as he kissed each finger slowly and deliberately. He gave her index finger a playful nip and she pulled her hand back and gave him a gentle swat with it on his bicep. He laughed and rolled onto his side to prop his head up on his hand.

He regarded her seriously. “You are dreaming. However, I am still here. I am a part of you at the moment.”

He reached over and gently brushed his fingers over her sternum. “Ben.” Her face crumpled, and her eyes became glassy with unshed tears.

“Hey, none of that okay? I see how you grieve for me and I am grateful that you care enough to want to. I am working on making my way back to you. I promise…I mean, if you’ll have me.”

“Oh Ben!’ She abruptly threw her arms around his neck and held him in a fierce embrace. “I miss you so much. I feel like something is missing without you here. Even though we fought all the time, and you did stalk me all over the galaxy, it was still…I don’t know. Comforting I guess.” She mumbled into his collarbone.

Her warm breath tickled against his ear. He stroked her hair with one hand as she settled against him with her head on his chest. “I never got the chance to tell you this, but I finally figured out that you gave me hope. Hope that it was possible to return to the light. When we fought over the holocron, I was convinced that I could never go back…that the voices I had heard in my head since birth had twisted me into something I didn’t recognize as human. I don’t know…in killing Kylo Ren and healing me, you gave me hope that I could be a better man.”

She said nothing but raised up to look at him. She cupped his chin in her hand and kissed him tenderly.

“Rey…” Her kiss became harder and more insistent. She rolled him over onto his back and straddled him. “Um…Rey?” Her sudden move left him breathless. “It’s my dream, right? That means I can do anything I want.” She gave him a wolfish grin.

“Annnnnnd…that would explain my nudity under these sheets. But um…?” He could feel the tips of his ears turning red.

Her expression was teasing. “Do you mean to tell me the big bad Supreme Leader is afraid of me?”

“If you mean the lithe and beautiful woman current squirming in my lap, no, afraid is not the word I would choose.” He grinned at her then shook his head. “Every time you appeared in my bed do you have any idea how difficult that was?”

“I might have had some idea.” She dipped her head and her skin pinked. “So…um…” She ran her fingers lightly over his chest.

“Kiss me.” He said softly.

Her lips were delicate and soft, her mouth warm and pliant against his and he melted. She molded herself to his chest and deepened the kiss and he moaned against her mouth. He was soaring. The exhilaration of kissing her was like fly his TIE over rough terrain and an asteroid field. Her kisses became more insistent and he parted his lips only to have her trace them lightly with her tongue. She delved into his mouth, tasting him and he moaned again. She ground her hips to his and he growled.

“ _Oh Ben…I like that_!” Her mental voice was breathless, and she kissed him again harder, sealing her mouth to his.

He lost himself in the dizzying warmth of her. She moaned louder in his ear and ground her hips against him in an unconscious desire to get closer and his hips rose to meet hers. He moaned helplessly as her lips descended to his throat and peppered his adam’s apple with butterfly kisses that sent a strong wave of desire down to his cock. She moaned in his ear and her breath tickled the sensitive hairs on his neck. Another strong wave of desire shot through him and he arched his back and neck trying to get a better purchase on her hips as she writhed against him. The next wave knocked him breathless.

“ _Rey…Rey stop for a second_ ” His mental entreaty made her blink and she pulled away with a frown.

“What is…”

“Oh! Maker that feels…” He gasped and looked up at her. She was beautifully debauched with her hair in a tangle and kiss swollen lips. Her thin white sleep shirt barely skimmed the tops of her thighs and her thin panties barely covered her nether lips. He was panting, and finally was able to speak although it came out a bit strangled.

“Rey, have you ever done this before?”

“What this? Kissing in general or sex?” She replied as she sat back on his abdomen.

She could no doubt feel him poking into her back, but she said nothing about it.

“Either one.”

“No, have you?”

Ben wriggled a bit to keep her from sliding against him in a way that relieved him of all rational thought. He could feel his face flush. “Um, actually, no. I haven’t. Nothing beyond the mandatory First Order sex education training videos.”

She looked surprised. “The First Order had sex educat…”

“Yes, and they were quite detailed. But I’ve had no practical experience beyond a kiss with a girl behind a temple on Yavin when I was sixteen.”

“Really?” She cocked her head and regarded him. “How did this happen?”

He shrugged. “Between having my thinking manipulated, endless training, and leading armies into battle, I didn’t have a lot of time. Besides, Snoke regarded sex as a weakness.”

“Oh Ben.” She reached out and caressed his jaw with her fingers.

He leaned into her hand and closed his eyes briefly.

“I haven’t either actually. I have an idea how it works though. Some of those old star destroyers that I scavenged had holos…probably something that belonged to the crew. Anyway, they were quite pornographic.” She blushed and glanced down at his bare chest. “Those holos would get me extra portions. I watched them first though.”

He laughed slightly and shook his head. “Did you learn anything?” He smirked at her and she turned redder.

“Oh…You!” She lightly slapped his bicep and he laughed. She hit him again a lot harder and he grabbed her hand.

“Hey, no violence okay.”

“You are teasing me.” She pouted at him and he shook his head.

“No, my love, I am not.” He kissed her fingers one by one and then gently kissed her palm. “I am not laughing at you either since we both have no practical experience.”

“I have seen what the skin girls used to do…” She trailed off He continued kissing her fingers. They were callused from using her saber. He gently sucked on the pad of her index finger and she inhaled a sharp breath. He stopped and laced his fingers between hers.

“As much as I want to, I also don’t want to hurt you, so I think it would be wise to slow down a bit. I also have to ask… did you get a contraceptive implant?”

Rey looked puzzled. “If I am dreaming, why would I need one?”

“Because I am part of you now. Since we are linked and the Force has a will of its own, if we do this…” He shook his head and looked away from her and at the green forest outside.

“You actually think I could get pregnant?” She frowned at him and adjusted her weight against him.

He felt a shiver of desire trickle through his spine. “My grandfather, Anakin. He was born of the Force. My great grandmother, Shimi, did not have a lover when she became pregnant.” He said softly, not looking at her. “With the Force anything is possible.”

“Perhaps we can do other things then?” Rey lightly ran her fingers over his nipple which became harder at her touch.

He shivered and grabbed her hand. “That’s almost too much, Rey. If you knew how long I’ve wanted you…”

“ _Show me?"_

Her mind touched his and he let her past the mental barriers to see his fantasies and how he’d entertained himself when the drone of Hux’s clipped, nasal voice had begun to be too much. She saw herself strapped to the interrogation chair again, this time dressed in rags and trembling.

He peeled off his gloves and let them drop to the floor. He removed his mask next and set it aside. He reached out and ran a fingertip along her exposed kneecap and let his fingers trail upward toward her thin gauzy wraps.

“You know I can take what I want.” He’d breathed in his ear and felt her shudder.

She flashed him a look of fiery defiance and he chuckled. He reached over and brushed against her chest. The tray behind him held instruments of torture and pain. A probe droid hummed somewhere behind her. He dipped a couple of gauze pads in a basin of water and gently cleaned the grime and blood off her face. He let his fingertips drift over her lips and down her chin. He followed the line of a droplet of water as it rolled down her throat and down past her collar bone. He pulled aside the flimsy fabric and gently rubbed the sweat and dirt from her exposed breast. Her nipple hardened in the chilly air and she twisted in her bonds. He hummed and blew his warm breath over her flesh causing goose bumps to appear. He took the pink bud of her nipple into his mouth and laved his tongue over the tender skin. Rey shuddered and twisted in her bonds. He stopped and glanced up at her.

“Tell me you want it Rey. Tell me you will, and I will burn the galaxy down for you. I will tear apart the heavens and lay them at your feet.”

“Kylo, I don’t want…”

Her sentence was cut off by a whimper as he tore the fabric away from her other breast. He brushed the wet gauze over her breast, gently cleaning her skin. His fingers stroked her other breast, lightly stroking over the aureole and gently pinching her pinked nipple. His mouth found the other nipple and lightly sucked as his fingers kneaded her other breast. She moaned and he stopped leaving a wet stripe of skin behind. The chilly air caused both of her nipples to contract into stiff peaks. He pulled the fabric away from her stomach exposing her belly button. He rinsed his washcloth and continued his meticulous cleaning of her body. He laved the hard planes of her hips with his tongue and drifted down to the top of her scant under things.

He abruptly laughed. “Did you wear these just for me?”

He fingered the thin straps of her panties and easily pulled the strings loose. She gulped for air and tried to twist away. He left the rags clinging to her hips and waist as he ran his hands up her bare thighs and pulled the panties away leaving her bare.

“Only you would think that.” She snapped.

He shook his head and did not deign to reply. Instead he concentrated on removing her boots, leaving her bare foot. He returned one ankle to the restraints and snapped them shut but not before kissing her instep and the tops of her feet before caressing her ankle. His hands skimmed up her legs to her thighs. He threw the washcloth into the basin and kissed the inside of her leg.

“Tell me you want it Rey. I will give you everything if you join me.”

She whimpered in the restraints and he pulled her leg over his shoulder and rested her foot across his back. He lightly stroked her leg and sent a soft curl of the Force to hold her leg in place. She whimpered again. He cleared away the scraps left of her panties and placed a light kiss against her cleft. “How is it a little scavenger girl keeps herself so well trimmed? Was that for me?”

He ghosted a kiss against her thigh and felt her shudder. His hands kneaded her thighs close to her cleft. He licked a stripe across the top of her petal soft slit, and she shuddered again.

“Tell me you want this, Rey,"

“You’re relentless!” She gasped and as his fingers stroked the top of her pussy and she whimpered.

He stood and let her foot drop down into the restraint without fastening it. He leaned down over her, allowing the rough edge of his cloak to drift over her. “Yes. Yes, I am.” He breathed in her ear. “I’m a monster. I know your deepest fears and desires, Rey, and I will have you. I will not stop until you’re mine. You can let me chase you all over the universe. But, one thing I know.”

He stopped speaking long enough to trace the shell of her ear with his tongue. “I know we are already one. You have to let me finish it, Rey. I want you. I want you and you will never be alone again.”

His hand slid down her body to where he palmed her naked sex. She moaned, loudly. “Good.” He murmured directly in ear. “I am going to make you scream. I am going to make those troopers stationed outside blush when you come screaming my name.”

“Kylo” she whimpered as he stroked with lazy fingers, barely touching her outer folds.

“We’re a dyad, Rey. Tell me you want this.” He whispered.

She moaned again. He sank to his knees in front of her and pressed the control of the restraint chair to lower it. He pulled her leg over his shoulder again, and lightly brushed his nose against her swollen sex. “So wet for me. So very juicy. I told you, its in our nature.” He murmured against her skin then lightly ran his tongue over her outer folds. He touched his tongue lightly to the tight bundle of nerve endings comprising her clitoris and she lifted her hips and moaned.

“That’s it. C’mon Rey, say you want it.”

~~~

“Ben” She cried out. “Ben!” He was abruptly yanked out of the fantasy.

He blinked up at her. He realized suddenly that the mind link had broken. It was on his lips to apologize for the invasive nature of the fantasy when she grabbed his wrist and placed his hand against her sex. She was warm, and very wet.

“I want it. Whatever you were going to do there? I want it.”

Without a word, he flipped them over so that she was on her back. He ran his hand down her body and she shuddered and let out a soft moan.

“You like that, huh?” He mumbled in her ear and she nodded and swallowed hard. He ghosted his fingers against her sex, and she moaned louder. “Rey. I need you to remember something. Remember it when you wake up.” He spoke softly in her ear while gently rubbing her swollen sex. She gasped and lifted her hips. “I want you to remember three things. Go to Chandrila and access the Skywalker family vault. There is no reason why you should be eking out a living on this dirtball planet. Second, find Wayland. There is information there about cloning cylinders. Third, Revan and Bastila were a dyad. She was his wife, and I intend to make you mine.”

She moaned again as his fingers dipped lower, gathering up her wetness and teasing her folds. “Relentless. Still.” She gasped and shuddered.

He kissed her lightly on the lips and trailed a line of kisses directly to her cleft. He dragged over a pillow with the Force and placed it below her hips. He leaned between her legs and kissed her throbbing clit. His own cock throbbed in return, but he ignored it, intent on pleasuring her. “Always” He mouthed against her tender flesh and proceeded to devour her.

She was sweet and her warm, buttery charcoal scent flooded his senses. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under her lower back, tilting her pelvis for better access. The golden glow of the candlelight illuminated her glistening folds and she moaned loudly as his breath puffed over her nether lips. She was panting, hyperventilating and he reached up and placed his palm on her lower belly. He rubbed soothing circles there to give her a point of focusing contact. Her breathing slowed and when she was no long gasping for air, he sent a tendril of Force energy upwards to her breasts. He planted the image in her mind of his hands stroking her, his palms curving around her breasts and thumbs stroking her hardened nipples. She groaned this time, a guttural sound that made him smile.

“ _Don’t tease me_!” Her mental voice was a soft whimper.

“I need you to remember. Remember, Chandrila, Wayland, Revan and Bastila. Swear that you will.” He knew he couldn’t disguise the naked hunger in his tone. She lifted her hips and moaned.

“So graceful. So incredibly beautiful, even when you were beating me in battle, your fierceness drew me in. You are my light, Rey.” He nosed her slit and lightly lapped at the wetness there with his tongue. She tried to close her thighs around his ears, to pin him into place but he sent another tendril of the Force to bind her ankles and plant them apart on the bed. “No, no. I don’t want to rush this. You are dreaming of me now, but I have been dreaming of you far longer.”

She whimpered as her thighs shook, straining against the Force hold. He stroked her ankles with his fingers and ran his hands all the way up her legs to her thighs. “I had a lizan runner beast when I was a child. You remind me of her. Coltish, and always needing to be gentled and stroked. So soft and warm.”

He petted her sex, lightly running his fingertips over her folds and she squirmed, lifting her hips and trying to grind into him. “Shall I narrate this? Tell you how decadent you look right now? How shocked your rebel friends would be if they knew I could reduce you to a whimpering mess? How I can lick you right here…” His tongue flicked out and lightly touched the tight bundle of nerves at the apex of her nether hood. She shuddered and moaned again trailing off into a whimper. “I’ve been in your head. You’ve got this streak…you enjoy being watched. All those times I would catch you in the shower. You knew I was there. If it was me, you’d avert your eyes and blush, but you still watched. How many times did you catch me unawares, hmm?”

He parted her nether lips and blew a puff of warm air over her clit. He rubbed his fingers up and down the petal soft ridges of her outer labia and she whimpered, canting her pelvis upward. “I wonder…did you catch me in the shower stroking myself and thinking of you?” She groaned loudly. “ _I’ll take that as a yes._ ”

“Ben…” She whimpered.

He inhaled her scent and bit down a groan. She was pulsing and the bond threaded her arousal down to his cock. He ignored it as best he could. With his fingers spreading her lips, he licked the ridge of flesh below her clitoris, and felt it stiffen under his tongue. Her back arched and she cried out. “ _Well, I guess that was good. Let’s see what else I can find…_ ”

He hooked his arms behind her thighs and buried his face in her mound. He drew her clit between his lips and lightly applied pressure before backing off and giving swirling licks with his tongue all around her inner folds. She was moaning, lifting her hips off the pillow and pressing her pelvis into his face. He let her grind against his nose and felt the sparks of the connection flutter down his spine. He licked deeper, drawing her liquid arousal into his mouth and eagerly swallowing. He found the center source of her desire and licked, little fluttering licks with just the tip of his tongue, lapping at her before dragging himself back up to the bundle of nerves at the top of her cleft. She was actively rocking her pelvis, squirming against him for purchase. He swirled his tongue again and she reacted by arching her back and moaning loudly.

“ _This? You like this_? “ He repeated the movement and she cried out.

“ _Hmm, I guess so. Perhaps this will help._ ” He stroked her entrance with the tip of his index finger, and she shuddered.

“ _More!_ ” Her mental voice demanded.

He huffed a laugh against her labia. “ _Greedy, aren’t we?_ ”

_“Oh, do it already!_ ” She replied and ground down hard against his nose.

“ _I’m going to save that for another time. I do want you to come for me now. Do you think you can do that? Because I really want to taste you.”_

She replied with a long moan and her thighs quivered. He could sense she was close, right at the edge. He licked her clit, rapid laps up and down that caused her hips to follow the motion.

“ _Here?_ ” He swirled his tongue around her clit hard and fast, and used his fingers to draw corresponding circles on her slick folds. He could feel it, exploding through the Force, seconds before she cried out and came with a rush of wetness, vibrating against his nose. He lapped at her, drawing all the sticky, creamy wetness into his mouth, and savoring its flavor. Her body was still trembling with the aftershocks of a powerful orgasm. She still thrust against him, her mental wail of pleasure still echoing in his mind. He released the Force hold, and crawled up beside her, stroking her and planting kisses on the flat plane of her abdomen, and the rounded curve of her small breasts. He could span them both with his hands, and he could feel her still erect nipples against his palms.

“Kiss me” He moaned into her mouth, and she wrapped one arm around his neck to pull him against her and snaked her other arm down between their bodies to stroke his throbbing cock. The shock of it sent a shudder of pleasure down his spine and he moaned again against her lips.

“Show me!” She demanded and he guided her hand around the head of his cock. He was so hard he was already seeing stars against his eyelids. He guided her rough palms around the thick base.

“Like this, move your hands like this” He moaned when one of her hands reached down and cupped his balls. Her fingers twisted against the head, pulling harder and he could not help the forward flex of his hips nor the guttural moan that escaped his lips.

“Faster…like this?” She smeared a bit of the fluid bubbling from the head of his dick and smeared it down his shaft. She then reached between her own legs and gathered up some of her own cream and spread it over him.

He lost it then. He moaned loudly and arched his back, closing his eyes as she pumped and pulled at him. “Rey…Gods, Rey!”

Her fingers wound around his and together they found the right rhythm that had him swaying, pumping hard into her slick fingers.

“Kiss me…Kiss me!” He moaned and she drove her tongue into his mouth in a fierce kiss. His world exploded into pleasure, a pressure wave that reverberated down to the tips of his toes. It felt like every cell ignited and he gasped as she leaned down and licked the cum off his still shuddering stomach. He fell over sideways and she followed him down, swiping the fluid off him in kittenish licks. He groaned again at the sight of her and hauled her up across him to kiss her solidly. He could taste them together, their combined juices across his sticky lips and he could not get enough of her mouth.

They kissed and kissed until he was dizzy. She hummed in pleasure, her wetness against his thigh and she ground her hips against him, her core still sending out waves of arousal.

“Gods I want you.” He mumbled into her hair and kissed her forehead. She laughed and kissed him back on the chin. They lay there in a muzzy haze, half-sated, arousal still sending flickering tendrils of desire over his skin. She rubbed against him and moaned softly.

“Mmm, what is this?” She moved against him and her skin seemed to glow, her wetness growing as she ground against his thigh.

“I’m guessing it is a Force bond reacting to our desire for each other.” He kissed her again and she ran her hands over his chest.

“You make me feel pretty.” She mumbled softly into his shoulder.

He tilted his head to look at her. “Rey, you aren’t just pretty. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. You are everything.” He tilted her chin up to kiss her gently.

As he began to deepen the kiss, something twanged in his head. Suddenly, the Force flooded with a sense of intense danger. He broke the kiss and looked around. Rey had a stunned expression on her face.

“Rey! You’ve got to wake up. You are in danger! Wake up, my love! Remember!”

~~~

Rey came abruptly out of one of the most pleasant dreams she’d ever had and instinctively called her lightsaber to her hand. The danger she sensed was right above her and she thumbed the emitter as she slashed downward. There was a sharp, guttural cry and a thump.

She sat up completely, and in the glow of her saber saw a Tusken raider neatly cleft in two smoking pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song by Rush. I have been entranced by all the talented authors that have written in the reylo section and impressed by the body of work on the subject. Honestly, there are a few people on here that should have agents and book contracts by now. As we can all agree, the end of TROS was less than satisfactory, so I thought I would throw my hat into the fix-it ring. We'll see how it goes. :-)
> 
> Thank you sweet people who have left comments and kudos! Comments are always appreciated. I have a tumblr where you can hit me up with questions, comments, or look for update information and wip snippets. Please see miladydwinter@tumblr


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